[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

With This RingWith this ring,

I swear to keep myself pure.

To not give myself away until the night of my marriage,

To the one whom God has chosen for me.

With this ring,

I swear to avoid the temptations

That may lead me astray

And defile me.

With this ring

I swear to not only keep my body pure,

But to keep pure my mind.

To not think perverted thoughts,

To not corrupt myself from within.

With this ring,

I swear that all of what I am will be pure

For he who is to be my husband.

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Since I Saw You Last

by ~JustBeforeTheDawn, Aug 28, 2012, 7:22:50 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

It's been a while since
I saw you last
I don't know what you'd say
To me.
I hope you'd be proud
Of me –
But there's no way to know.

Five years since
I saw you last
I think of you often, you know.
I can think of the good things now
And it hurts
Less

But only sometimes.

Four years since
I saw you last
And I'm used to the feeling.
I have a life and
You're not in it.

It hurts. But less than before.

Three years since
I saw you last.
I don't think about you ever y day.
But when I do
It's mostly sad.
And I don't like that.
Not at all.

Two years since
I saw you last.
I'm learning to move on.
The scars will stay
I'll keep them there
But the wounds still hurt

For now.

One year since
I saw you last.
I still cry all the time.
I'm starting to believe
That you miss me
But sometimes it's hard to remember that part.

Six months since
I saw you last.
I can't seem to forget it.
No matter where I go, I can't seem
To find you.
It stings.
But the pain helps me remember.

One week since
I saw you last.
I didn't know back then.
I found out today, and my heart
Just
Died.
Like you did.
Since the time I saw you last.

It's been a while since
I saw you last.
I wonder what you'd say
To me.
Would you apologize for what you did?
Or would you just
Say

Nothing

At all?

Since I Saw You Lastby ~JustBeforeTheDawn

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

I read a free-verse poem recently, and I wanted to try one of my own. It's personal, yes, but hopefully...understood.

I have other poems. Maybe I'll add those one day.

~Draconic-Alvara Sep 4, 2012 Student Writer

Absolutely beautiful. It tugged at my heartstrings in a way I can't even describe... Nice one, Sil. ^_^

~JustBeforeTheDawn Sep 5, 2012

Thanks.

~Draconic-Alvara Sep 5, 2012 Student Writer

Sure!! You're a great writer, though I do know that art is your preferred mode of choice. (This is your dear friend with the gag about going six months between emails, if you didn't know. Also, melon bread.)

~JustBeforeTheDawn Sep 6, 2012

I knew it was you from the screen name.

And yes, melon bread. That issue needs to be remedied, pronto.

Thanks, too. I can't write stories well - I tend to get bored.... but I love writing poems. The depressing thing is that my laptop ate my poems from a couple years back, and there's no reclaiming them.

~Draconic-Alvara Sep 12, 2012 Student Writer

That really sucks. T_T You're a good poem writer. The ones I spew out are almost always in free form and, more often than not, rather depressing.

~JustBeforeTheDawn Sep 13, 2012

I had a few depressing ones. Luckily my favorite one survived. Want me to send it to you? It's not a depressing one.

~Draconic-Alvara Sep 25, 2012 Student Writer

Sure. I'd love to read it.

~JustBeforeTheDawn Sep 26, 2012

I'll email it to you.

(1 Reply)

~kittyninja7 Aug 28, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

I'm gonna cry...

~JustBeforeTheDawn Aug 28, 2012

I'm not sure whether to say thanks or I'm sorry...

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